Why Don’t You Just Leave? First Contact Recap

 

Stray dogs and shirtless kids wander under street light as the team enters Elcho Island. Their car pelted with rocks, Bo-dene announces it’s “the scariest place I’ve been in my life”.

The weary travellers are welcomed into Timmy Gudumurrkuwuy’s furniture-free household of seventeen. Well-meaning police officer Trent asks, “Is this, like, your kitchen, dining and lounge all in one?”

Yep. Continue reading

10 Simple Errors Every Rookie Writer Makes

So you think you can write, ey? You may have some natural ability but unrefined talent will only get you so far. Like most skills, writing well takes practise and it only takes a few slips in tense, a single sentence fragment, or a meandering introduction to make a reader file your content in the “meh”  tray forever. Avoid looking like a n00b and/or giving your editor/teacher/professor/clients a frustration-induced brain aneurysm by following this simple list of tips for rookie writers I devised when sifting through my own contributor’s articles.

Continue reading

Sleep Paralysis: The History and The Mystery

There are bad dreams, then there are nightmares. Waking up from a dream in which your nanna has grown horns and is poisoning your pikelets, well that can be disconcerting. It takes a while to remember that Gran is safely tucked away in her retirement home, it’s 3 am, and it doesn’t taste like you’ve unwittingly digested any laced baked goods in your sleep. It was just a bad dream. However, being fast asleep, hearing a crashing noise in your room (that’s loud enough to wake you), becoming consciously aware of your surroundings before feeling a presence upon you, perhaps even seeing it from above, but being trapped  underneath as it presses down you stopping even the slightest of movements you try to make as you lay unable breathe or to cry out for help, that, is the truly terrifying phenomenon known as sleep paralysis. Fear not, however, for there are ways that you can  cease waking in fright and learn to take back the night! Continue reading

5 Times it’s OK To Judge at a Festival

The magic of the outdoor festival lies not just in gathering as a tribe to collectively bust a move to psychedelic tunes you can’t find anywhere else; it’s the freedom discovered under a gum tree a million miles from the pesky world (with it’s laws and bills and deadlines) that makes these gatherings such a sweet relief!

A bush festival is a place where, no longer bound by the usual constraints of “civilised society”, you can frolic in free and naked ecstasy. It’s a place where nobody cares what you wear, no demands are made on your time, and you can express yourself without fear.

So, logically it follows that nothing is more anti-festival than the presence of a big fat judgey cat sitting up on their moral high horse judging all the filthy hippies below. Right?

Wrong! Whilst you’ll often hear the phrase, “I don’t judge maaan” (except of course, judgements relating to judgey people, who are judged to be despicable judgers!) uttered at a festival, there are in fact times when it’s not only perfectly acceptable to judge, but it’s necessary. Of course, we aren’t talking about judging someone’s value as a person here, we are talking about judging  behaviours and attitudes which fly in the face of the outdoor festival creed. Continue reading

“Campbell Newman’s Storm Troopers” harass innocent couple under VLAD

He works under a high security clearance in the mining industry.  Up until recently, she worked for a bank.  The VLAD (Vicious Lawless Antisocial Disestablishment) laws have transformed the lives of a quiet Ipswich couple, whose only connection with motorcycles is a World War Two BMW sidecar bike barely capable of breaking the urban speed limit. Continue reading